i know what it is like to feel ugly.

it is a horrible feeling.i believed that i was the most imperfect person on the planet. everytime i went to a trial room in a shop, i'd cry. my self confidence was at rock bottom. everywhere i went, i would scrutinize people see if they were perfect where i wasn't.

i thought that being ugly made me worthless. in fact, i honestly started believing that people were only as worthy as they were good looking. our world does run on physical appearance doesn't it? and no matter what i did to make myself pretty, it was never enough. i still didn't have THAT quality. even if my eyes were big and beautiful, i still had 36490587 things wrong with my face and body.

i still remember that feeling. insecurities can eat you alive.

but at some point in time, i don't know when.. i stopped paying attention to it. i don't know what happened. but maybe i'd just gotten so used to dying a little inside when i remembered my flaws that i had nothing left inside to take away, so i just stopped caring. Thankfully, over time, i've healed. in fact. now i feel beautiful. i feel confident, i feel sexy.

my flaws don't have the power they used to have over me anymore.

of course i'm still hairy, of course, my underarms, knees and all are still dark. but to me, my flaws have disappeared. i just don't see them anymore. i have become free from my own demon.

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i was reading uglypeopleproblems. i can so totally relate to the things on that blog. but thankfully, in past tense. i no longer feel that way anymore.

i keep telling people i dislike america, and that i don't know why.

but i do know why. it is because everyone there is pretty. they all have perfect bodies. they all have nice skin. and they all use make up and millions of products, so they look better.

coming to india has been great for my self confidence. because over here, looks dont matter as much. nobody even uses makeup, except those rich girls in rich colleges.

i am glad., it has given me a chance to breathe, and a chance to break free. i am slowly building my strength. so that this fort of self confidence i have built around myself does not break at the first sight of perfect underarms. just a small break in self deprecation has been enough to open my eyes to my merits. and now i am beginning to accept my flaws, not to resent them.