6 April 2012. Special for a reason. :) (five)
And so today praveen decides to surprise me at CMR Central by dropping by unannounced apparently appearing out of nowhere when he was supposed to sadau-fying (rotting) at bangalore. Haha. unfortunately. Its hard to surprise me. :P unless its actually something i totally didnt expect, like being asked out :P so anyways, i'd kinda guessed he was going to come. haha. i am glad i was right. i'd have been upset if he wasn't in vizag. unfortunately he had to come when i was feeling particularly unglam.
ah well. i dont know. i guess its that time of the year. every year i have this one time when i feel completely and totally horrible about myself. my self confidence, self esteem, glamour quotient, high spiritedness is at an all time low. like really low. i just feel like a waste. i feel like i'm useless at everything. so i rarely even bother trying to do anything. i have absolutely no belief in myself. i stop trying to take initiative, so i just listen to others. do what they tell me to, without taking responsibility for anything.
on the other hand. it's good. because this is the period when i retreat into solitude for a while. i just observe things around me. i think about different things. i like the thinking. and i do things i dont usually do. haha, it feels like i'm moulting. i dont know how its like moulting exactly, but thats what it feels like. like my personality is slowly changing and evolving into something else.
this year, i feel like expanding what i know. i realise that i have a very narrow outlook. there are very few things that i am aware of. very few things that i have been exposed to. this year, i'll work towards experiencing more of life. learning more about different things. there are 24 hours in a day. i shall use them wisely.
